Life as an expat can be difficult. You’re in another country, away from your friends and family and in a new work environment. However, the most difficult part of being an expat can be the loneliness. Not having someone at home waiting for you, missing your friends and family, not knowing anyone in your neighbourhood… It can all make you feel disconnected and isolated. But this does not have to be this way. In this blog post I explain how to fight it and how to expand your social circle.
How to fight loneliness and expand your social circle
When you’re feeling lonely your first response might be to think that you might have made the wrong choice moving, or to buy a plane ticket for the next plane home. But don’t worry, even though it might seem tough in the beginning, you can build a social circle again soon by following the next tips:
Be kind to yourself when you’re feeling lonely
It is important to be kind to yourself when you’re feeling lonely. You are in another country, another culture, and without your routine support. It is normal to feel lonely and you’re not the only one who feels this way, so be nice to yourself. Allow yourself to be sad or to feel homesick, and do something you like to cheer yourself up.
Join a group
The best way to meet people and to start feeling better is to join a group. You can join a group related to your hobbies like running, knitting, hiking, photography, or join a local sports club. But also there are many groups that just gather in order to meet new people. Try to find a group you feel comfortable with and try out several different ones. Good platforms to get to know people with similar interests are:
- Meetup. An online site where people organize all kinds of activities. If your favorite activity is missing, you can even create your own meetup group.
- Internations. Internations is an online expat community that organizes monthly events for both locals and expats to meet new people. Also, there are several groups like the salsa dancing group or the local food lovers group that you can join to engage in weekly activities.
- FaceBook groups. FaceBook groups is a great place to meet people. There are many expat and local FaceBook groups that organize meetings and activities. Just type expat + the name of your new city/country and see what pops up.
Learn the local language
Learning the local language can help to fight loneliness in two ways: first of all when you learn a language at a language school, there are other students. When I moved to Barcelona I got many of my first contacts through the language school and some of them are still very good friends!
Also, learning the language can help you to feel more integrated. By being able to talk to locals, you might not only have more social contact, it might also open doors to unexpected friendships. Many people are scared when they speak in a foreign language, but don’t worry. Locals will appreciate your efforts and lend you a hand when you’re stuck. Moreover, if you don’t get something feel free to ask, I still learn new words and expressions every day by just asking.
Talk to local store owners
An important part of fighting loneliness is to feel part of the local community. When you start visiting local store owners instead of chain stores, you do not only show good faith to the local community, but also you get to know local people. Having some small talk might not seem crucial now but it can definitely help towards feeling more integrated on the long run. Just the fact of being greeted or smiled at by the baker or newspaper guy can make your day and you might even get great connections out of it.
Meet your neighbours
Many people are scared to meet the neighbors. However, meeting the neighbors does not have to be a scary thing. Why not host an open house day for all the neighbors of your block or flat? Also, you could throw a note through the doors of your neighbors in which you invite them over for a coffee. And if you’re really brave you could ring the bell and introduce yourself. Meeting the neighbors can be great, not only for doing activities together. It can also be useful when you have a problem or if you’re going on holidays. And don’t forget, this way your neighbors might feel less lonely too!
Do the things that make you feel at home
It is important that your new country will feel as your home. So take some time to decorate your house with things you like and make you feel comfortable. Take a subscription to your favorite newspaper. Take a pet if you’re a pet lover. All these things might seem trivial but coming home to a house that feels yours, can do a great job in fighting loneliness.
Have a backup plan
Sometimes loneliness will hit you hard even though you’ve done your best to prevent it. Don’t let yourself get surprised by it and make a backup plan.Try to make a list of things to do, ir order to feel better when you’re feeling lonely. Things to include on the list could be the following: calling a friend through Skype that always manages to cheer you up, go outside to take a walk, do your favorite sport or hobby, ask a colleague to have dinner together or any other thing that might make you feel better than you do now.
Summarizing, the expat life can be difficult and lonely but it doesn’t have to be. There are many things you can do to feel better. Please feel free to share your tips and experiences.
If you feel like you’re struggling you can always call me at +34 616 341 631 or make an appointment through the contact form.